Leave Policy To: All Employees From: Personnel Department RE: ABSENTEEISM It has been brought to the attention of the Board that the attendance record of our company is a disgrace. It has now become necessary to revise some of our policies. The following changes take place immediately. SICKNESS: No excuse. We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to get to the doctor you are able to come to work. DEATH: (Other than your own.) This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for the deceased, and we are sure that someone with a lesser number of obligations can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held late in the afternoon we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that you work is sufficiently ahead so that you won't inconvenience other employees by your absence. LEAVE OF ABSENCE (For an operation.) We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thought that you might need an operation. Since we believe that as long as you are employed here you will need all of whatever you have, and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. DEATH (Your own.) This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to train someone else to do your job. Also, entirely too much time is being spent in restrooms. In the future we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose name begins with A will go from 8:00 to 8:15, B will go from 8:15 to 8:30 and so on. If you are unable to go at your time it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes up. 请假制度 针对：所有员工 来自：人事部 回复：旷工 已向董事会提交了我们公司的签到纪录，真是件丢人的事情。现在已经是必须要调整我们的一些政策的时候了。以下变更立即生效。 疾病：没有借口。我们将不再接受医生的证明，因为我们相信，如果你能走去看医生，那么你也就能来上班。 死亡： （除了你自己） 。这是说不过去的。因为对于死者来说，你什么都做不了，而我们确信，会有人用少量的人来安排事情的。不过，如果葬礼可以在下午举行，招用童工的处罚。我们将非常愿意你提前走一个小时，只要你的工作提前完成，而且还要保证你的缺席不会给其他人带来不便。 休假（要动手术） 。我们将不再允许这样做。我们希望阻止任何为你动手术的可能性。因为我们认为，只要你是受雇于这里的，您将需要所有有用的东西，而不应考虑任切除任何部分。我们希望你保持受聘时的样子，任何器官移除手术都将使你比受聘时的少。 死亡（你自己） 。这时可以接受的借口，但我们希望提前两个星期得到通知，因为我们觉得，你有义务在你离开之前，对新人进行培训以便接替你的工作。 同时，也不允许花费太多的时间在卫生间。将来，我们将遵循按字母顺序的轮流规则。举例来说，养老保险。名字以A打头的时间时8:00至8:15 ，以B打头的将从8:15到8:30等。如果你无法在轮到你的时间段的时候去，那么你必须要等到第二天再次轮到你的时候去了。
